BenPaddon.co.uk

I feel obliged to correct a piece of misinformation I have recently learnt about myself from a friend of Amy’s who is still, rather bizarrely, a friend of mine. Actually I have no idea if this person is still a friend of Amy’s (or even if this information is accurate), but they’ve done a fairly good job of staying in touch with me since her and I broke up. I won’t risk dropping said friend “in it” by revealing their identity. For now we’ll refer to him/her as Dennis Redknapp.

Dennis informs me that Amy doesn’t like me. This is not itself a surprising revelation. But apparently, Amy doesn’t like me because when I left her it set a chain of events which ultimately led to her being in a less-than-favorable financial situation. This, too, is not new information - I’d been told about this a few months ago by another mutual friend (who I shall refer to as Dwayne Dibley) and we both had a little laugh about it. But she’s still angry about it, and presumably she’s been telling other people about it, and I supposed I should set the record straight.

Here is the situation as it stood when Amy and I broke up.

• I ended our relationship at the start of October, and I moved out of the flat we were sharing at the time. Being the gentleman that I am, I told her I would continue to pay my half of the rent for October, November and December.
• When I was informed that she wouldn’t be paying rent in December because we paid a month in advance and she would be moving out, I told her I would just be paying for October and November. She was fine with this, or at least she told me she was fine with this. My Mum, on the other hand, had overheard her talking to… someone, I forget who, saying that the new place she was moving in to was only £50 a month and the December money I had previously offered would effectively be paying seven months rent. Amy seemed rather pleased that I would be paying her rent for a large part of a year.
• Amy and I had previously purchased a fairly swanky 42″ Samsung HD TV. It cost just shy of £1,000 and while it had been purchased in Amy’s name the monthly payments had, in fact, been leaving my bank account to the tune of approximately £150 a month. Amy said she wanted to keep the TV and would continue to pay for it. I offered to take the TV and pay for the rest myself, but she said she wanted to keep it. I asked her if she would pay me the money I had already paid for the television, then. She said no. I was an idiot at the time, so I said “fair enough.”
• I also gave Amy £100 for a bike she had bought in her name for me.
• Amy then asked for my help getting the Deposit for the flat back, as the Evil Landlord refused utterly to give her the money back. Between Amy, her parents and myself we got it sorted. Amy receives the deposit of £505, which I assume she gave back to her parents.
• I gave some money to Amy’s parents to cover the cost of some of the cleaning materials, and an additional £20 (possibly 50, I forget) for the replacement of a door I had damaged by headbutting it following a particularly heated argument Amy and I’d had. I had previously been told by Amy’s Dad that I would not have to pay for the door in exchange for helping to fix his computer. Amy’s Mum requested I pay it anyway. I did, because quite frankly I didn’t want any further arguments.
• During the brief period in which Amy and I were trying to be friends, she managed to convince me to buy her a GameCube and two games, a total cost of £40 which she told me she would pay back. She didn’t. She also technically owes my Dad £60 for a special edition GameBoy Advance SP he lent us the money to buy when we were still together.
• Amy then moved into her new flat, paying £50 a month which, as far as I’m aware, included pretty much all of the bills. She signed up for Sky Digital (which I know because she told me) and BT Broadband (which I know based on the IP address and the source of the comments she left on my blog at the tail end of last year) which, realistically, doesn’t really cost more than £120 together.

I think it was February when Dwayne told me that Amy had recently taken out a loan. Now the maths there just doesn’t make sense.

• Rent is £50 p/m.
• BT Internet and Sky realistically only costs approx. £120 p/m.
• Cost of Samsung TV: Approx. £150 p/m.
• Cost of Laptop, which Amy bought for herself and paid monthly for herself: £30 p/m.
• Cost of her bicycle p/m, not including cost of my bicycle because I paid that to her: £15.
• Amy and I spent, on average, £20 a week on food. I assume this would not have changed. That’s £80 p/m.
• I know Amy would get special dietary cat food for the cats, but I don’t know the exact cost of each bag. For argument’s sake, we’ll say she spends £50 a month on cat food.
• So total monthly expenses: £495.

Now I know Amy earnt more than this. Much more than this, in fact. I won’t give out the exact figure, because you don’t need to know how much she’s earning any more than I need to know that I’m currently earning $23 an hour, but suffice to say these expenses fall comfortably inside her monthly wages with plenty of disposable income. Even if you take into consideration a TV License and Council Tax (which she wouldn’t have to pay anyway because of the location of the flat - above her workplace) she still had a rather nice bit of money left to play with.

I don’t particularly want or need to know Amy’s current financial situation. But I think it’s safe to say that, given the information above, it’s nothing to do with me. I offered to take the LCD TV off her hands and continue paying for it myself, even though I would be leaving the country (I know, and Amy knows, that my Mum would have benefited from a nice big television, as her eyesight is not fantastic). She didn’t pay me any money, for the TV or otherwise, when I left her. I covered my half of the rent on the flat that we had rented as a couple for the last two months, a period during which I wasn’t even living there.

The evidence is clear.

I do feel I need to stress something: I don’t hate Amy, and I don’t hold any grudges. but I am angry with her. Angry about how she treated me both during and after our relationship, and angry that she has tried to blame me for a situation I have had no involvement in.

I mentioned several times above that Amy owes me money for various items, but I don’t honestly want it. I’m not a petty man. Stuff is only stuff, and money is only money. I’m not asking for anything from Amy, except that she stop blaming me for whatever financial predicament she may be in.