BenPaddon.co.uk

I haven’t been doing Ficlet Fridays in a while, probably because my ficlet-writing has sort-of fluctuated from Every Damned Day to When I Damned Well Feel Like It. That means some days I’m writing three or four, and some days I’m writing bugger-all. But I’m writing, and that’s the important thing. So the Ficlet Friday updates will be sporadic, with updates usually every two or three weeks listing the ficlets I’ve written… well, since the last one.

So here we go.

He’ll Need to Grow a Beard (a sequel to An Employment Opportunity) - Jan 31st
I followed his directions to what was now my new “department”. Down the hall, turn right at the first junction, and it’s the fourty-second door on the left – “Luck Distribution Dept.” Lovely.
The concept of having to perform some kind of “community service” after we die is one that has floated around in my head now for years. This isn’t how I originally envisioned it, and it isn’t how I continue to envision it, but it’s what struck me as funny at the time.

Five Things: Like a Dream Upon Waking - Feb 3rd
Everyone, regardless of who they are, where they live, and what they do with their lives, does five things every day.
I only wrote one thing, and I had intended to leave it up to other “ficleteers” to continue the thread. Apparently no one was interested, but even still. The title of this ficlet stems from a line in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which may well be my favourite film ever.

The Writer’s Dilemma - Feb 3rd
It’s late. You should’ve been in bed hours ago, you have to be up in the morning.
This ficlet is, bizarrely, about the one above. It popped into my head after ten minutes after I’d gone to bed, and it sat there in my mind just wanting to be written. So I wrote it. This ficlet is about that inner debate I had with myself, that I have had before and will continue to have, and that I am sure every writer has experienced. It’s something other Ficlet writers will relate to, I’m sure.

Mundane Moments - And the Winner is… (a sequel to Achieving Nirvana by Russell Ruffino) - Feb 9th
…well, it’s the ficlet I’m sequelling now, isn’t it?
Less of a ficlet, more of an announcement of the winner of my Mundane Moments challenge.

An In-Depth and Thorough Discussion on the Existence of God - Feb 17th
“In the beginning, God made the Heaven and the Earth.”
I was feeling particularly sacrilegious that day. I love this ficlet, though - it accurately sums up my feelings towards the “Big Beard in the Sky” religions. At some point I intend to write a follow-up from the perspective of the religious fellow.

Thoughts of the Dying World - Feb 19th
Sleep is something people seem to take for granted. Some people slip into a dream as they would a pair of comfy slippers, but for me it’s incredibly difficult.
I’ll be honest - I have no idea where this came from. Powerful stuff though, apparently.

The Kit-Kat Club - Feb 19th
All I’m saying,” he said, resting his hands on the arm of the couch, “Is that it’s just chocolate.”
Ah, now this one is partially inspired by an early entry on Mil Millington’s “Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About” website. Upon re-reading it, it’s also a bit Coupling-esque. Id just finished watching the complete Coupling on DVD, so I imagine that had influenced my writing somewhat.

She Said - Feb 21st
Telling him what I’d done was easier than I had imagined it would be, but his reaction wasn’t what I’d expected.
I kept this deliberately vague. You don’t know what she’s done. I don’t know what she’s done.

He Said (a sequel to She Said) - Feb 21st
“I have something I need to get off my chest,” she’d said. I could feel this knot tightening in my gut as she told me, as she explained what she’d done, trying so hard to justify her actions – perhaps to herself as much as to me.
But whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

[Lost Love Challenge] An Altered Definition (a sequel to Lost love challenge,by I LOVE FRANK IERO AND WILLIAM BECKETT!!!) - Feb 21st
“I’m going to let you in on a secret,” said Dave, sipping his tea. “Movies lie.”
The challenge, as you can see by clicking the link, was unoriginal and insipid. Still, you’ve gotta take the rough with the smooth in life, so I decided to do the same with my ficlets. I took the concept of “lost love” and twisted it a little, instead making it a story about someone losing what they thought love was about.

A Setback Involving Stilletos, Slingbacks and Sandals - Feb 22nd
There is a theory which states that for every action we take, the alternative actions and outcomes are played out in a parallel universes.
Although this ficlet is not about parallel universes. It’s about an incredibly boring date. Oddly, this ficlet has received no comments, no criticism, no rating and no interest. Maybe the subject matter is a bit… well, boring.

Stand your ground and fight, Run, or Down the Hatch (sequels to The Blitzkrieg Bop by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars)- Feb 22nd
These ficlets make up part of the chain of a Choose Your Own Adventure style story. Read the original challenge here, and the beginning of the adventure here.

For Change’s Sake - Feb 23rd
“I’m not really enjoying myself here,” said Carl.
For some reason I’m not overly satisfied with this one. I knowingly borrowed the “Joie De Mort” from the remake of Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased), but the rest of the elements don’t really make much sense. It’s a rather closed off story with a “ba-dum-bum” punchline that, for me, falls a little flat.

The Vacuum Cleaner Dilemma - Feb 28th
“What do you think is the stupidest thing that a person with a Hoover can say?”
After writing many “two blokes chatting” ficlets, I decided I should probably have some set characters, otherwise eventually I’ll run out of guy names to use. I settled on the names Mark and Seb, Seb being named after (but probably sharing none of the characteristics of) one of the chaps at Ganymede & Titan. The actual ficlet, though, is about something people do when they’re vacuuming. It annoys me and they should all stop.

Critical System Failure - Feb 28th
“There. It’s taken four hours, but your computer is up and running again like new.”
As you may recall, my sister has killed my old PC. She did this by installing Limewire on it. I had intended to fix the computer when I go out to visit next week, but I was beginning to wonder if it’s worth it. So I write this - it’s pretty much how I imagined the discussion between my sister and I would go.

The Gatekeeper - Feb 29th
Warren didn’t like doctors. They made him feel uncomfortable and nervous. Still, this was a necessary check-up, and the sooner he got it done with, the sooner he’d know if he was alright.
This isn’t about the receptionist. This is about the man. People seem to think it’s the other way around, so I shall keep my mouth shut.

Waiting for the Right Moment - March 5th
“There she is,” whispered Seb.
I didn’t have the end of this ficlet in mind when I started writing it. I didn’t have the middle in mind, either. It started off with an idea - a guy wanting to ask a girl out, and bringing his friend with him for moral support - and sort of evolved from there. Marvelous. It’s also the second time Mark and Seb get an outing, and their characteristics are slightly more defined. Seb is a slightly insecure single guy, and Mark is a slightly unintelligent womanizer.

Know Your Surroundings - March 6th
Cellars are generally rather murky but this one, Vance had decided, had to be one of the murkiest.
The ending of this one was originally the beginning when I’d first thought of it, and I’d first thought of it while I was having a shower, which goes some way towards explaining where I got the idea from. The cellar stuff was an afterthought, but eventually became the focus. I think it works better this way.

Something New - March 10th
“It’s okay,” she smiled, trying her hardest to seem reassuring but instead coming across as ever-so-slightly patronising. “I understand.”
It annoys me that guys are usually portrayed by television and film as being scared of commitment. Generally speaking we’re not afraid to say that yes, we do want to spent the rest of our lives with the person we love.

A Clear and Concise Answer - March 10th
Seb put his drink down, and asked the question that had been burning in his brain for the past couple of hours. “Which do you think is scarier, being trapped in a relationship with someone you don’t love, or being alone?”
Good question.