BenPaddon.co.uk

Because I think I’m far more important than I actually am

Archive for April, 2008

April-30-08

Questionable Motives

posted by Ben

I seldom talk about general religion on my blog. It’s usually an annual occurrence, and I don’t usually have anything insightful to offer. It’s usually “I’m not a religious person, but I’m open-minded.” That’s a stark change from the opinion I held five years ago, which was “There is no God, and if you believe in God you’re a complete and utter idiot.” It’s a stance which has softened somewhat over the past few years, but it has effectively remained the same - I don’t think there’s a God. The difference is that now I’m open to the possibility.

I had a small spiritual crisis back in ‘06 in part because spent a lot of time thinking about how, when I die, I probably won’t go anywhere. The thought of evaporating into nothingness scared me. It still does. I try not to think about it much because the last time I tried to imagine what ceasing to exist would feel like I was so utterly terrified I actually cried, and I found it more than a little difficult to get to sleep that night. Experiencing that make it very easy for me to see why people choose to believe in some form of mystical energy force that controls their destiny.

On the balance, I’m generally rather accepting of people’s faith provided they don’t try to push their faith onto others, or use their beliefs to justify the willful harm others, or try to use elements of their faith as an excuse for inactivity. I also take exception to religious leaders - and religious people generally - who make silly statements about how Atheists are an inherently evil people with no moral scruples simply because they haven’t any religious textbook to give them instructions for living and a basis for what is right and wrong. Frankly, That’s bollocks of the highest caliber, and it’s for this reason that I don’t give to explicitly religiously motivated charities - I can’t see past their faith, and I can’t help but feel that the only reason they’re doing whatever it is their charity does is because they’re trying to curry favour with their magical space wizard of choice. That’s probably a little narrow-minded of me considering that they’re helping people regardless of motivation, but it does seem more than a tad disingenuous to me. It’s a little on the slimy side, to be honest.

I recently finished watching An Evening with Kevin Smith (which I recommend to absolutely everyone ever, along with the second one) and he mentions how he was effectively roped into filming a documentary for The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Prince which was jointly about the release of his then-new album, and the beliefs of Jehovah’s Witnesses. At one point The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist asks those with faith to step to one side of the room, and those without to the other, and then tells the Atheists that because they have no faith they have no moral code and are therefore inferior people. Those with faith have a guidebook (the Bible, natch) and are, it seems, utterly incapable of performing evil deeds.  Further evidence, as if it were needed, that The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Prince is no more mentally sound that the Pope (who is also stark raving bonkers).

I find it a little funny that those who harbour a Carrie’s Mother level of religious conviction are so vehemently against criticism of their faith of choice and yet they have no qualms utterly bashing Atheism. But then we’re talking about people for whom Hypocrisy is a way of life - people who say that God teaches love and then go on to say that he “hates fags” and wants to see them all killed… which isn’t actually inconsistent when you consider that in the Bible God kills a good couple of million people compared to the number of people Satan killed - ten. If they ever get around to making Bible: The Movie God will have to be played by Vin Diesel, Jet Li or Chuck Norris.

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April-29-08

Laptop Woes

posted by Ben

My laptop hates me.

Every few days, for no real reason whatsoever, it decides it no longer wants any part of the wireless network at work. It detects the network but decides that it doesn’t want to be able to use the internet. This is a decision the laptop is making on its own and it’s something that the laptop is doing, not the network. Rolling the laptop back to a system config from a few days ago usually fixes the problem, but it stops working again about four or five days later.

The laptop is using Windows Vista Home Premium, I have McAfee SecurityCenter installed, and those are really the only programs which could be causing the problem. If anyone has any insights, I’d love to hear ‘em.

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April-27-08

“Wow.”

posted by Ben

This blog post contains some spoilers for the second issue of Jump Leads, so if you haven’t read it yet I’d suggest not reading on. There are also potential spoilers for parts of the third season of Doctor Who so if you’re not up to speed with that show - no actual text, but some links to episode descriptions. If you don’t want those spoilt for you I’d advise against clicking those particular links - you’ll know ‘em when you see ‘em.

Read the rest of this entry »

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April-25-08

My MarioKart Wii Friend Code is…

posted by Ben

5155-3281-6701. Drop me a message if you’re adding me.

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April-22-08

Because a Wizard Did It

posted by Ben

Below is a picture of actual text on an actual church sign that I actually drive past on my actual way home from the place where I actually work. Click to embiggen.

faith-thumb.jpg

Have you ever seen a more self-contradictory sign in your life?

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April-22-08

Skyscraper is all but launched

posted by Ben

Euan and I have been secretly planning a collaborative blog called Skyscraper for the last couple of months, and the site is finally live although there’s no content on it yet. Eventually we’ll be using it as a sort-of central hub for all of our writing (except my Ficlets, natch) but for now it consists of a single post, a single comment, and an unfinished “About” page.

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April-20-08

Cartooning my way onwards

posted by Ben

I want to do another webcomic.

I’m obviously not abandoning Jump Leads, so don’t worry about that. I’m constantly writing scripts, constantly coming up with ideas, and that story is far from over. No, I’m very much feeling the need to work on a more traditional three- or four-panel “slice o’ life” comic. Something a little more close-to-home. Something semi-autobiographical.

And I want to draw it myself.

Yes, I know, I hate everything I draw. But I want to get past that. I want to break that barrier and try to get myself to a state where I am once again happy with my cartooning. I have no understanding of anatomy, no real grasp of technique, my style is wobbly and any hands I draw look like shit, but I want to give it a go again. Two years ago I decided I was too frustrated with my art to continue working on Fried, and I decided I wasn’t good enough to do Jump Leads. But I want to break that cycle. I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough to bring Jump Leads to life (and just as well really, as JjAR is doing a much better job of that than I ever could) but I reckon I could get myself to a place where I can say, “Alright, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

Hopefully I’ll have something more concrete for you in the near future.

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April-20-08

Terms of Endearment

posted by Ben

Am I the only person who saw the headline for this news article and immediately thought up a consolatory response from a loved one?

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For those of you who are constantly bemoaning the fact that I don’t update my blog that much at the moment, I point you in the direction of my Twitter feed. Generally I’ll usually update that with What I’m Currently Up To™, and I can even update it from my mobile phone. So there - technology has made stalking me that little bit easier.

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April-17-08

Twenty Two

posted by Ben

I keep forgetting that my birthday is coming up. I know the date - of course I know the date - but it never quite clicks in my head that my birthday is coming up soon. I’ve already had a couple of cards, and I didn’t expect either of them. Probably because I forgot my birthday was approaching on both occasions.

That’s it, really. I think this entry is more or less to remind myself that my birthday is coming up. Lawks.

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April-15-08

Say hello, Bogglekins

posted by Ben

Now that my Jinxlet Adoption Certificate is framed and on my desk at work, I figured it’d be a good idea to share some pictures. Click to embiggen.

Bogglekins 1

Bogglekins 2

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April-13-08

Concerning the human brain

posted by Ben

I have a tendency to over-analyze things. I’m constantly over-analyzing my own actions for one, and that’s something I believe I’ve gone into previously. I have difficulty sometimes figuring out what motivates me, what causes me to say and do some of the things I do. Since learning that left-handed people are more susceptible to neurological disorders such as bipolarity, acute anxiety disorder and paranoia (largely due to the left-handed brain being wired up differently from the right-handed one), I’ve started mentally chalking up my bizarre actions to simply being left-handed, and have begun trying to pigeon-hole each action into a particular neurological disorder in much the same way that Harold Crick found himself tallying the Comedies and Tragedies that occurred in his life, the exception being I’m doing it purely in my head, and my list is rather bigger than just the two options. It’s entirely possible I’m looking for justification where none actually exists, and by considering this I’m now over-analyzing my over-analysis, which is surely a Bad Thing.

I have discovered, or at the least decided, that my main reasons for doing much of what I do is because I need to feel like I’m entertaining. I have an overwhelming desire to please people, to make them smile and laugh if at all possible, and that drives me to say and do things that I know will perhaps make me look stupid. I’m willingly making myself look the fool just to get a quick chuckle out of people - often people I hardly know - and that strikes me as very dangerous behavior.

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