I subscribe to The Quotations Page Word Of The Day feed, and today’s quote really resonated with me:
“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.”
Ellen Goodman
“Ben, I’m angry with you.”
“Why?”
“It’s raining!”
“It… it is. Raining. Yes.”
“Why aren’t you doing anything about it?”
“Because… the rain is out of my control. I don’t, y’know, I don’t have any real influence over the rain. If it’s going to rain, it’s going to rain. I can’t stop it.”
“Not even for five minutes.”
“Er… no.”
“You can make it stop for five minutes.”
“I can’t make it stop at all. I don’t have control over the weather.”
“Really? I don’t believe you. Not even for five minutes.”
“No, not for five minutes.”
“…”
“…”
“I’m so angry with you right now.”
Let’s imagine, for a moment, that you’ve been charged with the task of building a Robot. Let’s not worry about the Whys and Hows of this scenario, only that this is your job. You are going to build a Robot for Some Guy, and that’s pretty much all you need to know.
Oh, wait, one more thing. You’ve been told where to get the parts from. There’s Some Other Guy. He’s a pretty neat guy. You get along. You have shared interests. The problem is that this Other Guy is also providing parts for about nine or ten other people, so he’s not always able to get your parts straight away.
Now imagine that Some Guy, the same Some Guy who asked you to build the Robot, comes up to you to ask how his Robot is progressing. Well, you can’t answer him, can you? You don’t have the parts. It’s out of your control - Some Other Guy pretty much has the monopoly on Robot Parts, after all. It’s entirely out of your hands. You can learn how to build the parts yourself - that’s an option - but it’s going to take time. This Robot isn’t going to be finished any time soon. It’s annoying, but it’s out of your control and it can’t be helped.
“No,” said Some Guy. “You’re supposed to be building a Robot. Why aren’t you building a Robot? You should build me a Robot.”
So you explain, again, that you can’t get the parts. Some Guy doesn’t seem to care that you can’t get the parts. You’ve already got some of them, after all. He asked for a Robot. He should have a Robot. Where is his Robot?
It’s times like this, I’m sure you’ll agree, when you’ll wonder why you even bothered getting a job in Robot Construction.
…and remind me that it’s never a good idea to leave my computer unlocked when I go off to do Other Things. I came back to find someone had changed my wallpaper (click to embiggen):
Suffice to say, I am… purturbed.
Vincent came into work yesterday after spending most of the week suspiciously AWOL, bringing with him one simple command: “Look in the freezer.” A short walk to the kitchen later, opening the freezer revealed… well, nothing. That is, until Vincent put his hand in and pulled out a nondescript plastic bag. He handed it to me, and I immediately knew what the contents were. I peeled away the slightly stiff packaging (arf) and inside was the Ninth Doctor, still bound and gagged. He has since been returned to his rightful triumphant position on my work desk, but there are questions which still need answering.
For instance, how did Vincent know? He claims he was little more than “just the messenger,” but I’m sure he’s more than just a simple Pez Dispenser*. I might even be inclined to say that he’s the mastermind behind the entire thing.
I shall keep you all informed.
The Doctor lives. The organization responsible for the kidnapping have sent me this video and demand that I post it on my site if I wish to see the action figure again.
I have to say, I’m surprised that they were able to get Talking-To-His-Daughter-While-Drunk David Hasselhoff to participate.
Went to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull last night and absolutely loved it, but checking my email this morning was a haunting experience.
Those of you who follow by Twitter feed will know that I got into work on Monday and found one of my Doctor Who action figures had been, for want of a better work, kidnapped. This morning I received a strange missive from someone referring to themselves only as “¢”. The message reads:
Mr. Paddon -
Sometimes we must separate friendship with business. My long time associates are not pleased with the riff raft you have been bring into the office. They feel that the element you bring to your desk harms the true purpose of promotional dolls and detracts from the true meaning of toys. Or at least that is what i gather, they are not the most comprehendible people I have worked with.
I am merly acting as a messaganger between your sect and the sect I represent. I personally asked for this assignment to protect the over all integerty of stealling workmakes toys. I am not activly envolved in the demands, negotiations, or selection of victims. I am merely a go between. The only set condition I have for you is I merly be refered to as ¢.Here is the first picture and statement from the toys for america liberation front.
“Ben Paddon, you are no longer in control of your twitter. If you want to see the proof of life video and see your presicous doctor, you will put the following phrase on your Twitter Blog ever hour for the entire work day of Thursday, May 22, 2008.”
“The Sky is Falling”
At 5 pm, if conditions are met you will see your Doctor on Video. For now, here is a picture.¢
This is naturally a very strange scenario to find myself in. I have a policy of not negotiating with terrorists, but I must confess I find myself conflicted here. If anyone can offer advice, I’m all ears.
Now that my Jinxlet Adoption Certificate is framed and on my desk at work, I figured it’d be a good idea to share some pictures. Click to embiggen.
There are probably very few subjects in the world less worthy of being written about than the act of going to work, but today was different because today I got on my shiny new bicycle and cycled into work.
Cycling from Sunland-Tujunga to Burbank is no small feat. It took me about an hour and fifteen minutes to do it, and in doing so I realised that a lot of the roads my Dad usually drives along to get to and from work are very, very long, but moving along them at a slower pace allowed me to take in much of the scenery, sights and sounds that I had previously not paid much attention to. I never really take in much of Sunland Blvd when we whiz down it in the car, but cycling along it I got to see some interesting things. There are a few houses in dire need of a good bit of work, for instance. A small row of houses absolutely stank of pot. And no, that really isn’t a large enough plot of land to keep horses on.
I’m still largely unfamiliar with Californian Traffic Law and how bicycles factor in to them, so I tried my best to adhere to what I remembered of British Traffic Law and hoped that would do me (obviously I decided not to cycle on the left side of the road). I was fairly relaxed, although I probably would’ve been a bit more relaxed if I’d had a helmet. Unfortunately the store I bought my bike from haven’t had any new helmets for a while as their supplier’s warehouse recently burned down in Mysterious Circumstances™, so my head is relatively unprotected. Well, I say “relatively”. I mean “absolutely”. I’ll ask Dad if he’s willing to make a detour to Target on the way home from work today so I can pick one up.
Getting to work under my own steam was fantastic, and I can’t wait to get up tomorrow morning and do it all over again. I feel like my legs are going to fall off, but honestly I don’t think I could care less about it at the moment. I’d forgotten just how much fun it was to cycle long distance like that.
It’s long been established that I work on the same floor as a bunch of geeks, which is probably why I fit in so well. One minute I’m having a conversation with someone about Indiana Jones Mr Potato-Heads, the next I’m talking about Red Dwarf and Worms Armageddon. My boss and I have had lengthy conversations about The Orange Box, and another department head and I have been meaning to go head-to-head on Team Fortress 2 for a while now (as an aside, since picking up the 360 version of The Orange Box I have a revitalized appreciation for the PC version, which I’ve been neglecting lately).
However one of my co-workers did what is perhaps the geekiest thing ever at CES the Microsoft Keynote speech this year. I tip my hat to you, good sir. You have out-geeked us all.
It’s getting late and my brain is shutting down, but I want to share a few things before I crash:
I haven’t much felt like blogging this past week or so, largely because I’m not going to write anything people want to read about. I’ve worked. I’ve seen films. I’ve spent money. I’ve visited friends. This satisfies me, because it’s want I want to do right now. I’m happy with my current state of affairs. I just wish some of my friends back in England could be happy too.
It was pointed out to me in an email the other day that I’m not traveling. I’m not seeing the United States, visiting landmarks and trotting through its many cities, towns and States. The email came across as quite rude, although I imagine it was entirely unintentionally so. We emailed each other back and forth and said friend made it clear that they didn’t mean it to sound rude. That’s fair enough. But I know a lot of people I left behind in the UK expect me to be doing something different with my life.
I want to tell those people that I am doing something different.
For a starters, I’m working for The Walt Disney Company. Specifically I’m working for the Disney ABC Television Group, helping to coordinate the shift from standard-definition to high-definition on two of their networks. That’s something I would never have even had the chance to in the UK in any way, shape, or form. Is it because my Dad works for Disney? Not directly, no - he doesn’t work in that department, for a start. He doesn’t know anyone there. I signed up with an agency that my Dad told me the Walt Disney Company hire from and from there I got this job working for Disney ABC. Is it because I’m English? Quite possibly. At first I was worried about finding work in the US. I thought people would hire me just because I’m English. I have the ginger hair and the funky accent and I thought this might cause people to hire me over, say, someone who can actually do the fucking job and then I’d get the boot when they discover I’m a talentless hack.
I’ll be honest, I was worried about that when I started the job at Disney ABC. During the first day I was given a lot of information and it wasn’t sinking in, and I was worried they’d hired me because oi speak funney. But I started to pick it up. Over the past two weeks I’ve really found my feet with that job. I’m enjoying it. I’m on top of everything and I’m convinced now that they hired the right person. I only hope they feel the same.
Had I stayed in the UK, my best prospects for the future involved more callcentre work. When I left NTL I was offered jobs at HSBC, Carphone Warehouse, and an IT Customer Service Center. I turned them all down because, besides the fact I was moving to America (at the time I was optimistic and thought it might happen in February/March, although that was perhaps too optimistic) , was that I didn’t want another job like that. Working at NTL, I met people who had been working in that sort of job their entire life. I didn’t want that to be me, and I thought one of the ways I could escape that would be to come to LA and try to open some doors. And it worked.
Ang and Pat suggested I take the time to travel the country, and I seriously considered their idea. I considered it, and I read through the US travel guide they got me for Yule, and I decided that yes, I will see the US. But not yet. Financially it’s not viable just now, and besides which I’m having too much fun working. I will travel, and I will see the US. I’d prefer not to do it alone, because while I’m the sort of person who craves company, I’m not the sort of person who could, for example, go and sit in a bar on his own.
Ang and Pat planted the original seed of the idea in my head, and that idea is blossoming. The more time I spend thinking about it, the more I think about places I want to go and optimal ways of hopping from one to the other. I’m sure they understand why I’ve decided not to do it straight away. I just wish everyone else would.
I’m happy right now. I hope people realise that.
